Asperger's, This Crazy Life

Feral Eyes and Stillness

Here's a secret, from me to you.Sometimes,Something happens.A conflict.An argument.A situation.And it's just too much. There is a snap,Like a rubber band that's beenStretched far, far,Then suddenly released. Everything goes quiet in my mind.Silence fills me,And a preturnatural stillness.I feel feral,Like a wild animal,Brought into the houseFor the very first time.I look around meA stranger… Continue reading Feral Eyes and Stillness

This Crazy Life

Shattering Climate Change Denial

Sitting on my bed, I cried inconsolably. It was ugly crying, so violent I was gasping for breath, unable to stop my sobbing. Snot poured out of my nose and onto the pile of tissues beside me. I hadn't cried like this in... years? At least. Decades? Maybe. Probably. Maybe I can learn from this,… Continue reading Shattering Climate Change Denial

Asperger's, This Crazy Life

Finally Finding Family

I was told a pretty story, growing up. It went like this... I was given up for adoption at birth. My birth mother was 19, and already had a 3 year old boy. She was a navy brat, living with her parents. Her mother, my birth grandmother, was sick with vaguely described "women's issues." She… Continue reading Finally Finding Family

This Crazy Life

On Mourning

I was doing it wrong, and I knew it. It was one year ago today, my mom had just died, but I wasn't crying. "Something's wrong with me," I confided, oh so quietly, to those closest to me, a week later. They assured me there was no right way, no wrong way, to grieve. That… Continue reading On Mourning

Furry Family, Health & ME/CFS, This Crazy Life

Saving Myself By Saving a Dog

This story starts with a dog, and ends with another. It's long, and touches on sensitive subjects, with raw, open, honesty. The last 10 months have been quite a journey, full of sorrow, shock, a moment of extreme clarity, a lot of contemplation, reflection, unexpected dreams, and then resolution, when the dream became reality. It… Continue reading Saving Myself By Saving a Dog