Allow me to introduce myself – I’m a member of the Domestic Supply of Infants, Texas Class of ’63. Exactly 59 years ago today my natural mother, who nurtured me in her womb for 9 months, crying every day over the impending loss of her baby, gave birth to me. And I was taken from her, not because she wanted to “give me up,” but because she was abused, threatened and coerced into giving me to strangers AT BIRTH.
You can read about the start of my journey to Finally Finding Family here, and more will be coming when I can.
The Roe decision means something different to awake and aware adoptees who have come out of the fog, and with the help of some of my fellow adoptees’ words, I’m going to try to explain it – and my overwhelming rage. There are a lot of angry adoptees.
I want you to know that the Roe decision is about a lot more than abortion.
It’s also, shockingly, quite explicitly about adoption, which is given as the reason why banning abortion is okay. It’s about forcing pregnant girls and women to bear babies because there aren’t enough available to adopt!
Justices Alito and Barrett have argued that “nearly 1 million women were seeking to adopt children in 2002 (i.e., they were in demand for a child), whereas THE DOMESTIC SUPPLY OF INFANTS relinquished at birth or within the first month of life and available to be adopted had become virtually nonexistent.”
Alito and Amy Coney Barrett have been extremely clear in stating that we simply don’t “need” abortion anymore.
These troublesome newborns can even be dropped off in “safe harbor” boxes nationwide, where you just chuck your unwanted infant in and walk away. No fines, no fees, no crime – just dump your infant and the state will take care of it. It will go to one of the people lined up to pay for a newborn or infant less than 1 month old. (I’ll post some excerpts about this shit at the very bottom.)
Hey, isn’t that human trafficking? A lot of adoptees think so.
Apparently, adoptees like me are commodities, or at least people like Alito and Amy Coney Barrett (ACB) think so. By the way, they’ve both adopted children.
What are we measuring here, the “domestic supply” of fucking wheat? Oh, wait, it’s PEOPLE! BABIES, even!
NOW would be a good time for you to check in with any adoptees you know. Some aren’t aware of this “situation” but many are – and are really upset. Many do NOT want more children to go through what we have.
Abortion is healthcare.
Adoption is a parenting decision.
Check out #adopteevoices on Twitter for enlightening conversations.
Simple fact: Adoption is trauma, and it will affect the baby and the birth mother for their entire lives, whether they are consciously aware of it or acknowledge it. It came as a big shock to me!
Adoption’s side effects have been with me, a pre-Roe, Baby Scoop Era adoptee, for as long as I can remember. I’ve struggled with things that we adoptees don’t talk to our adoptive families – or actually anyone else – about. We keep this shit to ourselves. I thought it was just me. But it’s not – it’s many of us.
For the last 4 years, since I found my birth family and learned my story, I have been tiptoeing around a bottomless pit of fear, anger, rage, and a grief so deep you could not imagine it.
This is called “coming out of the fog” by adult adoptees who have been through it. This is understanding I have been brainwashed in the American Disney princess vision of adoption as a beautiful experience for all.
Adoption is not some beautiful story.
I was damaged in utero as I swam in my mother’s stress hormones and experienced her fear and grief as a fetus.
I was damaged by being ripped away from my mother at birth.
I have carried these wounds my whole life.
It destroyed my first mother, who was physically abused, threatened and coerced into giving me up. She LOST her child, but that’s not supposed to mean anything when it’s adopted, is it? Natural mothers are not “expected” to grieve – but of course they do. She had no idea what happened to me for 55 years! Can you even imagine?
I will be posting more about my Finally Finding Family Search and what I’ve learned of my story, coming out of the fog, and attempting to heal from what’s been done to me, on less emotional days.
In the meantime, here’s a few more messages from my fellow adoptees.