It's funny, what I forget, even now, after so long being sick. Sometimes, in my mind, I am still strong & healthy, as if time simply stopped passing when I became ill. Sometimes, it really feels that way, as if time did stop, and there is only The Before Times and a giant blur that… Continue reading 15 Years: Time, Memory, Remembering, Forgetting, and Stupidity
Tag: chronic illness
I Will NOT Go Quietly Into The Dark
In my last post, I said I wanted the fire, the passion, back in my life. Over the last few weeks, I've done a lot of deep thinking and reflecting, while struggling every day just to keep my ship from sinking. Well, I've come to some harsh realizations and conclusions, and I'm feeling pretty damn… Continue reading I Will NOT Go Quietly Into The Dark
Coping: One Breath, One Moment
A post about getting through those moments you ask yourself: "What fresh hell is this?", or beg, "Not again, please!" and, "When Food Is The Enemy" Recently, yesterday I guess it was, but it seems eons ago, I managed to poison myself. Not in the typical, swallow something toxic way, of course. No, not me.… Continue reading Coping: One Breath, One Moment
Forgotten Dreams & Finding Myself Again
“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” ― Thomas Merton, "No Man Is an Island" Recently, I've come to realize (again) just how much being chronically ill has stolen from me, and not just in the obvious physical sense. Little bits & pieces of me, of who I am, have… Continue reading Forgotten Dreams & Finding Myself Again
Ash’s Advice: Part 3 – On Doctors
Note: Ash's Advice is written by, me, Ash, a long-time patient with ME/CFS, FMS, Chronic Lyme, etc. I am not a doctor, and nothing written here should be construed as medical advice. These are simply my musings; a series of letters to my younger self, and to anyone suffering through the "living death" that is… Continue reading Ash’s Advice: Part 3 – On Doctors
“How Do You Do It?”
"How do you do it?" she asked. "Just how do you manage to keep it together in spite of how miserably sick you often are? It is just so hard to keep doing this, you know?" It is a question I get asked often, and there are a number of answers. First, a rundown of… Continue reading “How Do You Do It?”
Wolfdreams.... 