Funny Blender Mishaps, Past and Present

A little change of pace from the seriousness of recent posts…

A Long Time Ago…
Let’s see, must have been about 31 years ago, I was in the midst of a teenage melt-down, and went from being the-child-terrified-of-doing-anything-wrong to a smoking, drinking, partying crazy person. My parents were newly divorced, and my mom & I had moved from my childhood home to a brand new townhouse.

My mother, unsuspecting of the depths of my wildness, made the mistake of leaving me home alone for a few days. While I didn’t have a “Risky Business” style affair, I did have a couple friends over, and we decided to make some frozen grape juice & vodka drinks we’d heard about. While I was only 16 or 17, alcohol was far too easily obtainable.

The recipie was simple: 1 can frozen concentrated grape juice, 1 can full of vodka, and blend & add ice & blend some more for a frozen delight, kind of like a slurpee with a kick.

Things started out smoothly, but the blender jammed on some ice cubes. Like an idiot, I put a spoon in & stirred the concoction, thinking I was only putting it down a little way.

Except I was distracted by the music & laughter.

And I hadn’t turned the blender off.

The inevitable insued. The spoon got caught in the blades, and quite literally exploded the blender. The container shattered, and frozen grape slush was instantly splattered everywhere.

Not only was it all over me, it was also on the cabinets, the walls, counter, floor. You name it, and it was dotted with deep purple.

Panic overcame me. Grape juice stains are some damn hard stains to get out!

We sprang into action, furiously mopping up the mess, trying to erase the evidence.

Floor & counter & cabinet were no problem.

The white wall over the counter was a big problem, as was an orange & white potholder hanging on the wall that a friend had given my mom that said “Over 40 & Feeling Foxy.”

With a little careful bleaching, the potholder came clean.

The wall was another story. The flat white paint had clear purple splotches even after much spraying & scrubbing.

Luckily for me, the builders had left the leftover paint in the basement. Yes, we painted the entire wall between the counter & the cabinets.

Somehow, it worked. I told my mother I’d been making slurpees and that’s how the blender got broken. I was into my 30’s before I told her the whole story.

Which brings us to today’s misadventure…
After only 4 hours of sleep, I had to get up to deal with the installation of our new heat pump. Exhausted. PEM. Talking to Rhiannon. Worrying about Kodi biting someone.

And making my medical shake.

I’ve made literally hundreds of frozen smoothies since my teenage mishap, with nary a problem. But today I lost focus.

The blender didn’t break, thankfully. But with a deafening pop, the thick stainless steel knife I was using to stir the concoction of juices, frozen raspberries, coconut milk, ice, and powders, snapped when it hit the blades.

As I looked in befuddlement at the knife handle left in my hand, my face dripping with frozen shake, the rest of the blade was still in the blender, until it shot out, further splattering cabinets, counters, floor & me with even more shake.

This time, there was a lot of laughter as Rhiannon helped me mop it all up. And we don’t need to re-paint the kitchen.

Lesson learned.

Again.